the "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage..
others call it MU or mutual understanding..
pseudo-relationship..
pseudo-boyfriends..
flings..
almost like a relationship, but not quite..
lt is a phase where the persons involved are more than friends, but not quite lovers..
pwedeng my verbal agreement, pwedeng wala..
one or both of you may have admitted your feelings, posible ding hindi..
you just let your gestures do the talking for you..walang pormal na ligawan na nangyari..
hindi kayo mag dyowa..
pero sa kilos niyo, sa mga sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi..

this kind of ''relationship" can happen at different stages for different reasons..
lt can happen after a break-up..
you still love each other, and you want to be with each other but you broke up for a reason..
and for a reason that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna magkabalikan..

it can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho kayong nakikiramdam..
possible din na ayaw niyo na munang mag-seryoso kaya kunwa-kunwarian lang muna..
testing lang..

pwede ring hindi pwedeng maging kayo kasi iosa sa inyo -- usualli the guy-- may ka-relasyon na..
kaya habang hindi pa siya naklklpag-break doon sa girl (sabi niya makikipag-break siya soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna kayong relasyon para nga naman hindi siya nangangaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo.."

this pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun..
lalo na kung naghahanap ka lang naman ng "KALARO"

pero wag ka lang mag-e-expect na may patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang kasiguraduhan..

so bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up ganoong hindinaman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

iba't ibang dahilan..
pwedeng for fun lang..
pwedeng "buti na yan kesa wala" or pwede na yang "pantawid-gutom.."
meaning, habang wala pa yun th real thing, doon munna sa kunwa-kunwarian..

for those who are in a serious relationship, they would think that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship at all..it would be fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling..

aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga pseudo-relationships din ako..
no commitments invovled..
for the simplest reason that they could'nt commit, because they were either committed to someone else, or that they weren't ready to commit..

my rationalization, "okay na yun, kesa wala.."

ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling..
iyong merong nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko..
lyong merong ka-cuddle sa beach outing..
iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangitit na ako dahil alam kong galing sa kanya ang message..
iyong merong laging kasama..
habang wala pa ang the real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan..

but then i learned that although it was only a pseudo-relationship, the emotions were real..
and usually, in this kind of set up, ang babae lagi ang lugi..

UNA, you can't ask him to commit..
since its not really a relationdhip, you cant demand commitment from your partner..
ano ba kayo? may K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi?
you will always be uncertain about your role in his life..
you cant exrect him to be always there with you..
and if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to keep it to yourself..
ano ka ba niya para magselos?

PANGALAWA, what if you fall deeply in love with him?
you cant be sure if he feels the same way..
baka nag-a-assume ka lang na mahal ka rin niya..
even if you're dying to tell him, you cant..
because you're not sure if he'll like it..
baka mapahiya ka lang..
this stage will always make you wonder where you are in the relationship..
or if there is a relationship at all..

PANGATLO, what of you become attached too much?
whar if you invested all your emotions and this man hasnt?
what if you remain faithful to him, not entertaining other guys, only to fins out that he is seeing other girls?

lsa pang downside ng pseudo-relationship, it is fleeting..
when a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it..
unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo alam kung saan ka lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship..
wala kang pinanghahawakan..
kasi sa peudo-relationship, there is no "US."
meron lang "YOU" and "ME", hindi "US"..

buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang mararanasan mo..
kaso hindi eh..REAL PAIN..
and usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-relationship, hindi mo maiiwasang umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin yun..
and you will be miserable, hoplng to bring back what you used to have, only to find out eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-relationship with somebody else..

ang hirap noh?
you agreed to this kind of set up for fun and then you'd end up hurting yourself in the process..

pero pwede naman maiwasan ang pain eh..
pwede naman na hindi mo isispin ang future and just enjoy the feeling, without thingking of the consequences..

but if you are certain that you are going to hurt yourself in the process, kailangan mong mamaili..
you can be happy and live the moment withiut worryingwhat would happen next..
or you can stop settling with pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing..

when i was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with an unavailable guy, a friend told me
"sige, kung ayaw mong magpapigil, bahala ka..magpaka saya ka..pero wag kang iiyak iyak pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan kita!!"

ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sayo, gawin mo..
ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence..
dahil ang "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo..
usually, hanggang doon lang siya...
ALMOST, BUT NOT QUITE..


sigh(--,)